me: boys piss me tf off y'all can go kys and leave me alone like damn who even are you
also me: give me attention daddy
But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
But I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.
I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you.
Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too.
If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending.
Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.
(via mangohtangoh)
🌹
Call me. Call me in the middle of the night, call me with tears in your eyes, call me with a smile on your lips. Call me whenever you feel like it, whenever you want to talk, whenever you need someone to listen. Just call me. Hearing you breathe on the other side and knowing you’re there is enough.
I wish we never met.
I wish you never looked at me the way you did that night.
I wish you hadn’t sat in front of me that day.
I wish you never hugged me that one time I was upset.
I wish you didn’t run after me when I stormed out.
I wish you never texted me back.
I wish you fell asleep instead of staying up with me.
I just wish we never met, because if we hadn’t,
I wouldn’t have gone through all this pain.
“I hope we last. I hope we do.
But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me:
I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you.
Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too.
If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending.
Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my flaws.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my anxiety.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my scars.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my loneliness.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my depression.
Don’t look at me
you’ll see my monsters.
me: boys piss me tf off y'all can go kys and leave me alone like damn who even are you
also me: give me attention daddy
fr tho, communication is so important to me. tell me what u want from
me, tell me how i make u feel, be real with me, be real with ur soul
